The Role of Self

Writing this first note to you reminds me of my early blogging days, but this time it’s a decade later. I am a mother, wife, and co-founder of Summer Fridays now. Roles that feel so defining and important. And yet, as much as those titles signify so much of my identity, I am learning how important it is to honor the role of me, unattached to any of my life roles.

Which brings me to my first love note to you:

To value ourselves outside of our roles.

The role of self, at its core, is the only life title that is always ours. It is with us in every season, in every evolution, in everything we do and create in this lifetime. It’s in the way we speak to ourselves, in the way we make others feel, and in how we give ourselves the room to evolve.

How beautiful would it be to value ourselves equally when we have everything we want and nothing we want? Not because we are someone’s partner or parent or leader or colleague or source of inspiration. But because we are first everything to ourselves.

I often find myself feeling like so much of my identity is rooted in my roles. I remember longing for each one of those titles before they were mine, and now, sometimes wondering who I am outside of them.

As my son started school last week, this came to mind again, as I watched him introduce himself to new people. “Hi, I’m Evan,” my son would proudly say. It wasn’t followed with the title of team captain, or student council leader, or someone’s something. Life is his playground — still too young to attach value to a role outside the one of self. 

And it reminded me of this: to honor the me within the greater we that so beautifully becomes our life.

To care for my core, to make time for self growth, and to celebrate everything I am just as I am.