A reflection letter I wrote to myself while in New York last month…

I snapped this photo at the same hotel I visited exactly two years prior, right before launching Summer Fridays. All the feelings from that first trip came flooding back when I stepped into the lobby this week.

wearing | Orseund Iris Top + Pistola Jeans

The exhaustion from early motherhood. The guilt over leaving my then-baby for the first time ever. The weight of the breast pump I was storing in my carry-on. The frustration over the bag of milk that spilled hours before while going through security. All of that, while wondering + hoping + manifesting what this new business would become. At this point, all of it was still just a product sitting in a warehouse.

And so this week, when I stepped back into that same hotel lobby, I felt an enormous amount of pride over how far I had come mentally, emotionally, and personally since that day two years ago. It’s like I was reminded of the time spent over the past two years working hard on not only building a dream, but also in building myself. I learned how to turn feelings of stress and overwhelm into gratitude. I learned how to forgive myself. I learned how to feel pride without guilt (like, zero guilt! which seemed impossible in those early months). I learned how to prioritize caring for my body while still showing up for my family. I learned how to be beautifully imbalanced and completely lopsided in all categories of my life.

And now that contentment over imbalance feels like my greatest success over the past two years. I love my lopsided life, and the people within it who never once told me to stop.

And so I hope this note helps those of you finding yourself in a state of in betweenness. The climb is the dream, really. Enjoy its lessons and its awkwardness and ultimately, its beauty.

Photos by Cibelle Levi.