A Decade Married

May 31, 2023

Last week, Jake and I celebrated a decade of marriage. We had the most tender celebration in the clouds alongside the angels we created. We danced and swam and ate cake and cried. Jake and I wanted to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary in a special way, but as the date neared, we were not up for traveling or for planning a party. We kept going back and forth on what we wanted to do, so I thought about a special place I had been a few times before for weddings or events. The location is Malibu Rocky Oaks, and it’s on the top of a mountainside. It’s oftentimes booked but we lucked out with a midweek opening for a night.

The best part of planning this so last minute was that we just let the night be. No plans, no schedule. The kids kissed the clouds with us and dug their forks into the cake before we had dinner. By the end of the night even Ev had watery eyes and he said, “mom are these happy tears”? He even acted as our officiant that night and he only had one line prepared: “I really wanna go party and eat cake…” which honestly sums up how we want to feel for the next 10 years, ya know? What a night, what a decade.

It feels surreal to be celebrating a decade married. We were so young and very certain. I didn’t grow up with married parents, but always had a lot of love around me, and knew the kind of partnership I wanted.

For us, evolving together has been an intentional choice. We are not the same as we were a decade ago, but we’ve allowed each other the space to change, learn and lean into new versions of ourselves, while simultaneously coming back to the core of who we are.

I don’t think any of us are ever the same over the course of even on year to the next. And I think partnerships of any kind – romantic or not – are really about allowing each other the flexibility to change. I also believe this is a very loving way to end relationships that may not last forever (and that’s okay too) – in that when we honor each other’s evolutions, it’s a lot easier to celebrate the newness rather than resent it.

Here’s to all the best decades to come!